Raising Harry: Bonus Features
by aramie.greyson
Summary: Much like the option on a DVD, this 'story' contains cut scenes and outtakes from my 'Raising Harry' series. The chapters contained herein won't make much sense if you've not read the series.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling; various publishers including, but not limited to, Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books; and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**A/N:** This is the scene I cut from Raising Harry: La Vida Muggle. It fits in the day after the tornado in chapter six.

* * *

**La Vida Muggle Bonus Scene: Puzzling Investigations**

Ashley Anderson hated her job. She despised going out in the country, getting all bug-eaten and muddy, and not to mention sunburned. However, her partner, John Brown, was all for it. He liked to regale her with tales of growing up out in the sticks. If Ashley heard one more time about how his first job had been detassling, she was going to kick him.

"I don't care what your readings say, John. The action happened here, not seven miles wherever else!" She kicked a clot of dirt at him.

"But, Ash, those wards aren't like any I've ever seen before… Look here," he handed her his clipboard.

Ashley didn't bother looking. "According to Schuley's fifth law of immutable distance, John, those wards, however interesting, _had nothing to do with stopping an F-4 tornado in its tracks yesterday!_" She shouted the last and threw the clipboard with the tracking parchment hard enough to bounce off of John's chest. "The NWWS wants us to get to the bottom of this! If we could find out what happened, then they could see if they could duplicate it! It could potentially save _billions_ of dollars in property damage every year!"

John, for his part, couldn't help but notice that Ashley didn't mention anything about the _lives_ it would save. He sighed and scooped up his clipboard, recalibrating it to the immediate vicinity of the local school. "There isn't much here, Ash. Four magical signatures over the last forty-eight hours, two of which are kids. The third belongs to some woman by the name of Danielle Penbroke. H-B ranking of twenty-seven. The last must be either her mom or grandma, 'cause it says Alice Penbroke. Her H-B is thirty."

"That means nothing if she's a weather witch."

"I know that. Why don't you radio back to HQ and see if they can find an address."

An hour and a half later, Ashley was more than ready to return to her comfy air-conditioned office in Des Moines. Neither of the two Penbroke ladies – luckily found at the same address as Dani was visiting with her grandmother at the time – had any sort of weather witch capabilities. Yet another of her investigations had gone absolutely nowhere. _I'm never going to get promoted,_ she thought, climbing back into the National Wizarding Weather Service pickup truck.

* * *

**A/N2:** The H-B numbers they're talking about will be addressed in 'Of Marbles Lost and Found'. (edited to fix which story they're in on September 3, 2007)  



	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling; various publishers including, but not limited to, Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books; and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**A/N:** Here we find some of the different mental images my brain cooked up during the Snape/Harry/Dumbledore conversation. Sometimes, I scare myself.

* * *

**Outtakes for Chapter Eight of 'La Vida Muggle'**

_This is the scene as it is in the story:_

Harry paused in the kitchen, as they had come through the back door. "If you two would wait here while I go get washed up? I ain't gonna be long."

"Certainly," said Dumbledore, conjuring a silver teapot and a couple of cups. Harry grinned at the blatant display of magic and rushed up to his room. He took a quick shower and pulled on some clean jeans and a red-and-yellow t-shirt that had a cartoon hawk emerging from a line drawing of a tornado. He glanced out his window before heading back to the kitchen. Dave, Aurilia, and Jim were still getting everything tied down and secured for the storm.

Once back in the kitchen, Harry started the preparations for dinner. He had recently earned his cooking badge in the Scouts and Aurilia allowed him to cook a couple of times a week. "Mom, Dad, and Dave are still workin'," Harry said as he poured a little oil into a frying pan to brown the hamburger for the spaghetti sauce.

"Do you need any help?" Albus offered.

"No, I've done this before. Thanks, though." While the oil in the frying pan was heating, he filled a pot with water and added some salt before setting it on another burner. A loaf of French bread was cut in half lengthwise and sat on a cookie sheet. "So… Tell me more about Hogwarts. What kinda kids go there?"

"The magical kind, Harry," Albus replied, somewhat amused. "Other than that, they are much like any other youngsters. They have their friends and games. Schoolwork, of course."

Harry sprinkled a little water in the frying pan and was rewarded with sizzling. He took the ground beef out of the refrigerator and crumbled it into the pan. "What about the classes? Is it all magic, or do y'all teach things like science, history, and math, too?"

Albus took a sip of his tea, "Though all of the classes are magic-oriented, we do offer the magical equivalents of those subjects."

"Really? Like what?" Harry constantly stirred the beef in the pan with a long wooden spoon.

"We offer History of Magic, which is rather self-explanatory, Arithmancy, which is the mathematical theory behind magic, and lots of other classes, as well."

The hamburger was finished browning, so Harry took it off the burner and set it to drain in a colander over an old coffee can – it was generally a bad idea to let grease go down the drain. While the meat was draining, he buttered the bread and dusted a liberal amount of garlic powder on it before setting it to one side. He knew it would only take a few minutes to toast the bread, so he wasn't going to start it until everything else was almost ready. Harry glanced at Snape, "You teach there, yeah?"

Snape merely nodded, he had been watching Harry's behavior ever since the boy had returned from washing up. "Yes. I teach Potions."

Harry smiled, "Kinda like what Mom does? Oh, sorry, do you know Mom runs an herbalist store over in Lovilla? She makes natural soaps and remedies and lotions and stuff." The water for the pasta was boiling, so he added the noodles. The beef was done draining, so he dumped it back into the frying pan and added two cans of tomato sauce, a can of chopped mushrooms, and a chopped onion, as well as a packet of seasoning mix from the cupboard and some water.

"We were aware of the nature of her shop," Severus confirmed. He was torn between wanting to hate Harry – the boy really looked too much like his biological father – and being impressed by him. Harry worked confidently and efficiently at preparing dinner, cleaning as he went. Severus couldn't help but wish that all children were as conscientious. If they were, accidents in his classes would be cut by half.

"So, what you teach, is it like what Mom does?" Harry stirred the sauce with the same wooden spoon from earlier and turned the heat down. He also prodded the noodles with a large fork. They still needed to cook for a while.

"I would assume it is both similar and different. The very nature of magical brewing is different than merely distilling medicinal uses from plants. If you were to make a mistake with your mother's brewing, it would merely create an unusable mess. Making a mistake with a potion can cause explosions, toxic gasses, or other undesirable effects." Severus had decided to hold off judgment of his childhood rival's offspring. At least until the boy did something stupid.

"So it's more like chemistry," Harry stirred the sauce again and tasted it. "Hmm… Needs more garlic, but Mom'd have a fit. She doesn't like garlic all that much." He sat a lid on the pan and adjusted the heat again. He then dug into the fridge and began chopping vegetables for a salad.

* * *

_Here are some of the ways my brain took it whilst writing:_

_First Outtake_

Harry paused in the kitchen, as they had come through the back door. "If you two would wait here while I go get washed up? I ain't gonna be long."

"Certainly," said Dumbledore, conjuring a silver teapot and a couple of cups. Harry grinned at the blatant display of magic and rushed up to his room, tripping on the second-to-the top stair. Careening off the banister as gravity reinforced its hold, his shoes skidding down the hardwood stairs, Albus and Severus were treated to an odd display of Harry fighting to remain standing. He was doing a good job of it until he hit the wall about halfway down. He landed on the hallway floor with a loud 'oof!' noise.

"Graceful," Snape said.

"Oh, shut it, Snape," Harry snapped back. "I'm sure you'd be graceful, too, if people were constantly writing about you, messing around with your age and height and whatnot."

"They do, Potter, yet I still manage to make it from point 'A' to point 'B' without halting the forward momentum of the fic."

* * *

_Second Outtake_

"Do you need any help?" Albus offered.

"No, I've done this before. Thanks, though." While the oil in the frying pan was heating, he filled a pot with water and added some salt before setting it on another burner. A loaf of French bread was cut in half lengthwise and sat on a cookie sheet. "So… Tell me more about Hogwarts. What kinda kids go there?"

"All kinds. Short ones, tall ones, fat ones, skinny ones –"

"You guess you'll go eat worms?" Harry grinned.

"Potter!"

Laughing, Harry went back to his mark and waited for Aramie to quit laughing long enough to try the scene again. "Raising Harry: La Vida Muggle, act 8, scene whatever-the-heck-number-I'm-on, take three!"

* * *

_Third Outtake_

Snape merely nodded, he had been watching Harry's behavior ever since the boy had returned from washing up. "Yes. I teach Potions."

Harry, having forgotten his lines again, grinned evilly, "So… Does shampoo qualify as a potion?"

Severus groaned inwardly, _We are _never_ going to finish this scene, are we?_

* * *

_Fourth Outtake_

"So, what you teach, is it like what Mom does?" Harry stirred the sauce with the same wooden spoon from earlier and turned the heat down. He also prodded the noodles with a large fork. They still needed to cook for a while.

"I would imagine it is both similar and different…" Severus trailed off. "Blast it, I'm going to hurt you, Potter!"

"Me? What'd I do this time?"

"You got that damnable song stuck in my head!"

"So, Severus, an… earworm ate your lines?" Albus smiled.

"Not you, too!" Severus spun on his heel and strode off the set to go find his script, a large glass of firewhiskey, and a copy of Rob Zombie's latest album.

* * *

**A/N2:** Grin. I know, I'm not altogether sane. You don't need to point it out to me. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling; various publishers including, but not limited to, Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books; and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**A/N:** It seems that, in effort to cut down on the syrupy nature of reunion scenes in 'Hogwarts is a Strange Place' I erred in leaving out this scene. Ergo, here it is. Enjoy!

* * *

**Harry Meeting Sirius for the First Time (Thanksgiving of 1991)**

"Have everything you'll need for your trip home, Harry?" Albus asked.

Harry nodded, "Think so, sir. Thanks again for lettin' me go home for this. It ain't somethin' I expected."

"Think nothing of it, young Harry. I trust none of the professors gave you too much trouble about your assignments?"

Harry shook his head, "No, but I think that Professor Flitwick aims ta have a holiday like this adopted over here – he said he could do with a four-day-weekend after the stress of the first two months of school."

Albus laughed, "Then I wish him luck in his endeavors."

Harry readjusted his backpack – which contained his schoolbooks and a list of the assignments he'd need to have done by Monday – and asked, "So… Will I be headin' home with a portkey or through the floo?"

"I believe that the floo would be the best option," Dumbledore replied, retrieving his box of international floo powder from its place on his mantle. "Be sure to return before curfew on Sunday."

"I will, don't worry," Harry scooped up a small handful of the grey powder and stepped up to the fireplace.

* * *

Remus finished getting washed up in the second-floor bathroom of the Brewer ranch house before striding into the guest room and flicking on the lights. He grinned at the still-sleeping form of Sirius, who had his buried under a pillow. "in lecto etamnunc es (1)?" A garbled answer surfaced from the pillow. "Sorry, what was that?"

Sirius flung the pillow in Remus' general direction, "dormit (2), damnit."

Remus snickered, Sirius had always answered the same way ever since they were in second year. "aut ocius surge aut ego tibi somnum istum excutiam – none te pudet in multam lucem stertere (3)?"

Sirius cracked his eyes open, leaned up a little, and scowled at the darkness outside the window. "vixdum diluxit – tu quando surrexisti e lecto (4)?"

"About an hour ago," Remus replied. He reached down and tugged on Sirius' exposed bare foot. "Come on, love. sudum est hodie: caelum serenum est et siccum, nulla usquam nubecula conspicitur, caelum atumnale mirum in modum serenum est (5)," his voice had the overly-cheerful sing-songing tone of a morning person.

Sirius yawned and scrubbed a hand across his eyes, "quid horae est (6)?"

Remus rummaged around in the dresser for a moment, then answered, "haud longe sexta abest; ientaculum paratum est (7)." Remus tossed the sweater and jeans over to Sirius. They landed on his head.

"Thanks," Sirius pulled the clothes off his face. "ientaculum paratum est (8)?"

"That's what I said. I think Aurilia made pancakes."

Sirius grinned and hurriedly dressed. "I love pancakes."

"I know," Remus grinned at his lover for a moment before smirking.

"What?" Sirius asked, tugging on his boots.

"You forgot, didn't you?"

"Forgot what?"

"What today is."

"Um… It's Thursday, isn't it?"

Remus nodded. "That it is. The fourth Thursday in November, to be precise."

Sirius' brow furrowed. "satin sanus es (9)?"

"As much as I ever am," Remus' smile grew brighter. It wasn't often that Sirius forgot something important, but Remus planned to hold this over him for a long, long time to come. "iamne oblitus es, quid inter nos sit dictum (10)?"

"Huh?" Sirius was somewhat lost. "Fourth Thursday… we talked about something?" Suddenly it dawned on him. "Oh! That stuff-yourself-silly holiday the Yanks have, right? And Jim said that Harry'd be coming home for it!"

Laughing, Remus managed to say, "Took you long enough!"

Sirius bounded out of the room in his animagus form. _No doubt to get to breakfast that much faster,_ Remus thought before following him at a much more sedate pace.

* * *

Harry had to sneeze midway through the rather lengthy floo journey, and so stumbled out of the Brewer's fireplace with far less grace than he usually possessed. While wiping soot off his face – and out of his eyes – he heard an unfamiliar voice say, "eccum (11)!"

After sneezing four times in quick succession, Harry opened his eyes to see Remus standing next to a man who had to be none other than his long-lost godfather. Aurilia laughed even as she said, "Gesundheit, luz. My, _four _times on a _Thursday_."

At precisely the same moment, Remus and Sirius chorused, "salve (12)," before Sirius asked, "Four times on a Thursday what?"

Aurilia smiled, "He sneezed."

"So I had noticed," Sirius dryly replied.

Harry knew he was going to like his godfather just from what he had seen of the man so far. He answered Sirius' curiosity, though. "Sneeze on Monday, sneeze for danger; sneeze on Tuesday, kiss a stranger; sneeze on Wednesday, sneeze for a letter; sneeze on a Thursday, sneeze for something better; sneeze on Friday, sneeze for sorrow; sneeze on Saturday, see your sweetheart tomorrow; sneeze on a Sunday, your safety seek, for evil will have you the whole of the week."

"What did the four have to do with it, though?"

"One sneeze for a wish, two for a kiss; three sneezes mean a letter, four for something better." Harry grinned at his godfather. "Hi. You must be Sirius," rather belatedly, Harry offered his hand.

Suddenly realizing just who he was talking to, Sirius reached out and grasped Harry's hand before pulling him into a bone-crushing bear hug. If it weren't for the fact that Harry was in the least-effective position for any sort of anti-grappling maneuver, and the fact that he sort-of knew what prompted this reaction, he would have used his abandoned karate lessons to get out of the situation. As it stood, however, he was rapidly running out of oxygen. "Sirius?"

"Moony?"

"Let the boy breathe."

"Oh," Sirius released Harry and had the decency to look a little sheepish before holding him at arm's length and looking over him quite intensely. "plane patrem reddit et refert – oculi matrem referunt (13)," he paused for a moment before asking, "valgus est, quid ita (14)?"

Remus couldn't help it, he broke down into great guffaws of laughter. "What's so funny?" Aurilia asked.

"It was a valid question, Remus!" Sirius sounded a little miffed.

"What was?" Harry mirrored Aurilia's perplexed expression. "I don't know the language y'all were usin'. What did ya say?"

Remus was still convulsing with laughter, so Sirius explained. "You look just like James did at your age, but you've got Lily's eyes."

"I know," Harry stated flatly. "I been told that before. Don't see what's so funny 'bout it, though."

"I simply wanted to know why you appear to be bowlegged. Neither of your parents were."

Aurilia rolled her eyes. "It has to do with the fact that, up until he went to Hogwarts this fall, he spent a minimum of an hour a day out riding horses. You spend that much time on a horse, you'd be bowlegged too."

"I still don't see why it's so funny," Harry said, sitting his backpack down next to the sofa and using his wand to get rid of the majority of the ash and soot he'd accumulated during his trip.

Remus finally took a shuddering breath and forcibly calmed himself down. "It wasn't so much as what he asked, it was more that I don't recall Sirius looking so confused since that time in seventh year when James hexed the back of his hair to be fluorescent orange!"

Sirius groaned and addressed the ceiling, "Did he _have_ to remind me?"

"Of course I did, amorium," Remus smirked.

Ignoring the ensuing banter in languages unknown, Harry turned to his mom. "I'm gonna put my pack up in my room, then go see iffen Dad an' Dave need any help out in the stable. When's lunch gonna be?"

"About four or four-thirty, luz. I know you've been up long enough to be hungry again by now, so just this once I'll let you snag something from the kitchen before supper's ready."

"Thanks," Harry smiled and re-shouldered his pack before heading up to his room.

* * *

After supper was naught but a loosening-of-the-belt memory, Harry was more than ready for bed, regardless of how early it was. He'd been right, he really did like his godfather. Remus, too, was much cooler in person than through their letters. They'd both told him stories about when they'd been in school with his biological parents; many of which were extremely funny.

Yawning, Harry climbed the stairs, idly thinking of how comfortable his bed was going to be. _I'll worry about that essay for Binns tomorrow… Or even the day after._ He wasn't paying much attention to where he was going – he'd traversed this particular staircase and hallway thousands of times a year for the majority of his life; it hadn't changed much in that time, new photographs took the place of older ones a couple of times a year, but that didn't have any affect on where he put his feet. So, it was a total surprise when he ran into something that shouldn't have been there. His balance was never the best when he felt half-asleep, and so he fell flat on his rear. He shook his head once and looked up to see what he'd run into.

Sirius and Remus weren't _quite_ quick enough to step far enough apart for Harry not to know what they'd been doing in the hall. Harry rolled his eyes and ignored both Remus' proffered hand and stammered protestations. "Puh-_leese_, guys, get a room! I don't like watchin' Mom an' Dad do that stuff, I don't need it from y'all, too!"

"It wasn't what you think – " Sirius tried to say, but Harry cut him off.

"What, was it some new form of the Heimlich Maneuver that I don't know about? Dang it, I'm _eleven_, not an idiot. Do that mushy stuff somewhere other than in the hall between me an' my room."

Remus and Sirius exchanged similar awkward glances, "Um…" Remus tried, "Is it because we're men?"

Harry shook his head, "No, ain't that. Mom's said that ya can't help who ya love, an' that sometimes it shows up where ya least expect, but I'm still a kid! I don't wanna see _anyone_ doin' that kinda stuff!"

Sirius cracked a grin, "So, Harry… Any _special_ someone back at school for you?"

Harry blinked at his godfather. "I repeat: I'm _eleven_. That's two ones right next to each other. I don't wanna see that mushy stuff, especially not when all's I'm tryin' ta do is get to bed!"

Remus smirked, "Odd, that's what we were aiming for, too."

It took a moment for what that meant to really sink into Harry's brain. When it did, he turned bright red, stuck his fingers in his ears, and started singing 'Sounds of Silence' – rather loudly and off-key – as he rushed for the safety of his room.

Sirius laughed at the sight. "I suppose you were right, Moony."

"Oh, what about _this_ time?"

"He and I are going to get along famously."

* * *

**A/N2:** This scene was also cut because it interrupted the general flow of how I'd written the rest of the story – not to mention the fact that the lengthy exchanges in Latin, though fun, aren't really needed. Translations for the Latin are thus:

1. _in lecto etiamnunc es?_ – Are you still in bed?  
2. _dormit_ – I'm sleeping.  
3. _aut ocius surge aut ego tibi somnum istum excutiam – none te pudet in multam lucem stertere?_ – Get up quickly, or I'll shake you out of bed – aren't you ashamed to go on snoring in broad daylight?  
4. _vixdum diluxit – tu quando surrexisti e lecto?_ – It's hardly light yet – when did you get up?  
5. _sudum est hodie: caelum serenum est et siccum, nulla usquam nubecula conspicitur, caelum atumnale mirum in modum serenum est_ – The weather is very nice today, the air is clear and dry, nowhere is there a cloud to be seen, it's a wonderful autumn day.  
6. _quid horae est?_ – What time is it?  
7. _haud longe sexta abest; ientaculum paratum est_ – It will soon be six; breakfast is ready.  
8. _ientaculum paratum est_ – breakfast is ready  
9. _satin sanus es_ – Are you in your right mind?  
10. _iamne oblitus es, quid inter nos sit dictum_ – Have you already forgotten what we discussed?  
11. _eccum!_ – Here he is!  
12. _salve_ – Bless you.  
13. _plane patrem reddit et refert – oculi matrem referunt _– He's the spitting image of his father – he has his mother's eyes.  
14. _valgus est, quid ita?_ – He's bowlegged, why?


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling; various publishers including, but not limited to, Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books; and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**A/N:** This particular cut scene belongs at the end of Harry's first year at Hogwarts/beginning of the summer before second year. It was cut because, at the time, I felt that the story had dealt with other POV's quite enough, but I loved the scene enough to share it with all of you.

* * *

**The Scent of a Burned Roast can be a Dangerous Thing**

Arthur Weasley was home on time, for a change. As he stepped into the kitchen, the acrid smell of something burned hit his nose. Arthur winced, _The twins must have botched one of their experiments._ He greeted Molly, who seemed rather distracted, and sat down at the kitchen table. "Everyone's rather quiet this evening," he said while pulling a bowl of mashed potatoes to his plate. As he scooped out a spoonful, he was looking to his children, and didn't notice that the potatoes were lumpier than normal. "What _is_ the matter?" He could see that Ron was grinning at his plate, the twins were looking at Percy like they didn't know him, and Ginny was wrinkling her nose at her dinner whilst poking it with her fork. Percy, for his part, had an odd, little smile on his face and Molly was methodically scrubbing the same spot of counter over and over again.

Arthur was more than a little confused, especially when all four of his sons still staying at home exchanged small glances and began laughing. Arthur replaced the bowl of potatoes and picked up the platter of roast slices. As he preferred the rarer cuts of a roast, he picked through the slices, knowing that when his boys got over their fit, one – or more – of them would answer his question. To Arthur's surprise, there were _no_ rare cuts of roast available; the center cuts were just as dry, though not quite as charred, as the outer slices.

Arthur frowned as his pulse rate picked up speed, _No. Not possible…_ The last time Molly had so completely ruined dinner had been the same day they'd found out about the impending addition of Ginny to the Weasley family. The boys were still laughing, and so he turned a rather panicked, pleading expression on his daughter. Ginny snickered; she knew _precisely_ what her father was thinking – Bill had told her the story several times when she was little. Smirking somewhat, Ginny replied to her dad, "Calm down. Mum's just had a bit of a shock this afternoon is all."

His daughter's words did nothing to alleviate the anxiety that had taken hold of him. He swallowed rather hard, trying to get his dry throat and mouth to cooperate with his brain. "What about?" he asked, dreading the answer.

Ginny snickered again, "Percy broke some rules at school is all."

Arthur blinked, convinced his heart to start beating once more, and then blinked again. "Percy broke…" he stopped suddenly as the meaning of what Ginny had said managed to sink in. "Percy? _Our_ Percy?"

"Yes, Dad."

"_Our_ Percy _broke_ school rules?" Ginny began giggling at her dad's expression; it was alternating rapidly between relief and astonishment. "_Our_ Percy?"

"_Yes_, Dad."

Arthur took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Thank Merlin," he muttered. He then smiled and looked up at Percy. "Congratulations, son."

Percy looked confused, "For what?"

"For _finally_ learning how to act your age. You'll make a damn fine Weasley if you keep this up."

That seemed to snap Molly out of her daze. "Arthur!"

* * *

**A/N2:** This particular omake hasn't been beta'd, so any mistakes are mine and mine alone. Thanks for sticking with me! 


End file.
